On our grateful walk,
I took notice of my critical voice.
For the first time, I allowed myself
to sit with her in compassion.
From this perspective, I became aware
of why I still entertained her presence
as this voice feels she can give me something to do
to feel safe, liked and loved.
My critical voice judges my appearance
according to model standards
yet that is not my profession and
has nothing to do with
what I find truly beautiful in someone.
While I can appreciate the wrapping,
it is the gifts on the inside
that holds true beauty to me.
My critical voice has judged
my worth according
to my bank account
and materialistic possessions
yet I’ve discovered
that has nothing to do with true value.
At my funeral, the loving hearts in my life
will not be saying,
“I’m so grateful she had enough stuff
to be my friend”.
I became a bit overwhelmed as I sat in this
compassionate space with myself as I realized
my critical voice was only trying to help me
form connections
to feel safe, liked and loved
but these are doing connections
only sustained
by adapting, adjusting and obtaining…
when all along
what I have been really seeking are
connections of being…
where really there is nothing to do except
me being me,
you being you,
and Bella being Bella
where the heart is seen for her beauty
and the soul marveled at
for her unspeakable value.
May today find you
letting go of doing
and basking in being
the unique, beautiful,
shining gem
that you are.
-Jenny and Bella
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